What is Parts Work?
Ever feel like different parts of yourself are in conflict with one another? Do you want one thing, and simultaneously want its opposite too? Do you find that no matter how hard you work towards change, you continue to engage in what you'd label as 'self sabotaging' behaviors? Do you have a hard time making decisions? Does it feel like you are an entirely different version of yourself in different situations?
There are a multitude of energies within each individual person. These energies add up to make one being, yes, but each one can have a different personality; each comes with differing needs, desires, passions, thought processes, fears, hopes, and ideas of what it means to lead a safe and fulfilling life.
Some parts work very well together and some may regularly be at odds. This is a big reason as to why it can be difficult to consciously create drastic changes in your life. If all your parts are not on the same page, usually changes will only be temporary.
Some common aspects that I enjoy working with in sessions include:
The inner child, the inner parental figures, the inner critic, the higher self, past versions of self, the future self, the creative self, the fearful self... and the list goes on.
There are also parts that are more specific to each individual. For example: the hard worker, the pleasure seeker, the adventurous one, the silly one, the lover, the joker, the organized one, the careless one, the addict, the one who wants to heal. You can see how some of these internal states might conflict with one another if they existed within the same person.
The key to healing is addressing each part's needs as valid, and then moving forward towards a solution where every part is considered. In other words, it's moving from fragmentation of self to integration.
Inner Child Healing: Addressing the Most Universally Disowned Aspect of Self
Your inner child is the part of you closest to your essence. It is the aspect that enables you to become truly intimate, to fully experience others, and to love.
The child’s needs often get overlooked or squished due to the demanding needs of society, the needs of the people around you, or even by other aspects that exist within you. But the child does not disappear. It is still in there, feeling fearful and unattended to.
A lot of what you learned as a child was on a subconscious level, so often times you may not consciously be aware of the beliefs that keep your inner child feeling small and afraid.
Integration is key here. Reparenting yourself in such a way that you build up key aspects inside yourself that were not present for you when you were a child. This way you can ensure the child feels safe, which will inevitably make you feel more whole as a person.
It’s bigger than going back and healing the past, though that is an important aspect of it. It’s about literally building these supportive energies up within yourself to ensure that the child’s needs are continually taken care of on a moment to moment basis. If it feels unsafe, you will feel resistance and fear arise. But once you provide the child with a means to feel fully taken care of, it will feel safe to come out and play. To live, to love, to explore freely.
Only then can you fully come home to yourself.